Fandoms: Cold Case
Pairings: Jimmy Bruno/Sean 'Coop' Cooper, Jimmy Bruno/Eileen Bruno
Disclaimer: I don't own Cold Case or the episode 'Forever Blue', this is just for fun.
Summary: It has been a month since she saw Jimmy and Coop kissing in the back yard and Eileen still has no idea what to do.
Spoilers: None unless you haven't seen 'Forever Blue'
Authors Note: Comments=Love
Chapter Four- A Frown Like Thunder
It has been a month since she saw Jimmy and Coop kissing in the back yard and Eileen still has no idea what to do. She is trying so hard not to succumb to the anger and bitterness she is feeling but by each passing day it is becoming increasingly harder. It is so much easier to be angry. She is living in a world she does not recognise, she cannot unsee what she saw. It is like Pandora's box, now she knows she sees it all the time. The looks Coop gives Jimmy, the slight touches that pass between then. She hasn't seen them kiss again, no, she makes sure of that. That first day she had so much hope. Hope that the man who shone dimly, the man she thought Coop was, would do the right thing. But when Coop dropped Jimmy off that night she saw Coop brush his hand down her husbands back and she knew. Coop had done nothing. Her hope had reality for an adversary. That night her bottomless well of hope failed her and she could hardly contain the resentment she felt for Jimmy. He was still kissing her on the cheek, still calling her honey like he had never kissed that man. Coop was not the devil she thought him to be although he did a good imitation, charming and handsome. Jimmy was not under some spell, he was doing what he wanted to do.
They prayed before the ate, as they always did linking hands around the table. When Jimmy said "...And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil" she gripped his hand with all the strength she possessed. Jason asks where Jimmy got the black eye and he says "Ahhhh, me and Coop pulled this guy over for speeding and he got one over on me. Drunk as a skunk he was." brushing the whole matter off as if the lie he just told was the truth. Eileen could not suppress flinching. As they eat meatloaf and vegetables she talked to Jimmy without looking at him, focussing all her attention on Jason and Mary. The second the plates are empty she has them in her hands and is in the kitchen placing them in the sink. Jimmy asks her if she needs a hand and the words are so familiar she looses her breath sinking down the counter to rest on the floor awkwardly. Her left hand rubs at her stomach and she starts to cry. Her Jimmy is gone, he died the moment that man kissed him. The man that has taken his place is acting the part but he isn't fooling her. Two can play at that game. She can act too and just maybe she can fool him. Wiping her eyes she manages to say "No" not trusting herself to say more. She is in bed before Jimmy and when he gets in she goes rigid trying not to touch him, knowing Coop has. Eventually Jimmy falls asleep and she allows herself to relax. The baby kicks inside her and this time she doesn't wake Jimmy to let him feel her stomach as she has done previously. No, she lies there staring at the ceiling. A line from the poem her mother read at her fathers funeral goes through her mind "But you frowned like thunder and you went away." Jimmy gave her no goodbye, a frown or otherwise.
When she fall asleep she finds herself in the kitchen downstairs. Jimmy and Coop were sat at the little table, Coop had a baby cradled in his arms. That was her son she just knew it. Jimmy looked up and his happy face changed into a startled one. "Who are you? How did you get in our house?" he said his voice like an echo. Jimmy didn't recognise her. Mary and Jason came running in hearing their father shout. The look of shock on Mary's face when she saw her made Eileen's heart break, her little girl shouted "Daddy!" the sound echoing around the kitchen but it wasn't Jimmy that responded.
"It's ok Pumpkin, come here next to me and Pops." said Coop his voice an echo too.
Her eyes went wide as realisation hit her and she took a step back. This was not her family. Her children called Coop daddy and didn't know her. She felt her legs collapse and she hit the linoleum of the floor with a thump. Jason took a step towards her interested. "No!" she screamed holding her hands up, the echo of the strange place making it bounce around the kitchen till it hit her again the tone changed so it sounded mocking. She had startled them and they stood frozen staring at her. She raised her head and looked Jimmy straight in the eyes as her own filled with tears. As soon as she said "To love and to cherish, Jimmy!" the tears streamed down her cheeks so fast she feared she'd drown in them. Desperate to leave that horrible place she shook her head so hard her neck hurt and kept shaking it till the walls of that kitchen shook and vibrated. She could hear the echoey voices of Jimmy and Coop but didn't listen to what they were saying. Finally the walls of the kitchen dissolved into the ceiling she was staring at before she fell asleep. Her nightmare had left her shacking and her heartbeat accelerated. The baby was kicking her in protest. She was crying and it was that way she fell asleep again soothed by Jimmy's breathing. When she woke in the morning she only remembered the feeling that her family was being stolen by Coop and she vowed she wouldn't let that happen. The dream had repeated itself only once since. Upon waking she could only remember the look on Mary’s face when she saw her, the fear in her eyes. Eileen was not her mother she was an intruder in her home that might hurt her. For a while afterwards she constantly needed hugs from her daughter, needed to know that she was in no danger of loosing her. She would not loose her family.
It is Sunday and Jimmy is at work, Eileen takes Jason and Mary to church that morning. Father Mac is stood at the door welcoming his congregation. He smiles at all three of them as they enter saying "Hello." to each. Father Mac has been the Bruno family priest since they moved to there house as newly weds. He baptised both Jason and Mary and he will baptise the child inside her when the time comes. The church soothes her. The incense bringing back memories from her childhood, when she didn't know of men kissing men. Father Mac starts addressing the people settled in the pews and Eileen looses herself in the glory of God. Mary fidgets next to her until they start to sing hymns. The Latin words fall from her lips with a calming familiarity that pushes her troubles away, like a light chasing shadows. During Mass she is again reminded of her childhood, of how when she was little the wine that was given to represent Christ's blood tasted so bitter. It wasn't until Karl Lederman split her lip in the third grade that she tasted blood for the first time. She didn't care for it. It is only at the end of the service that Eileen realises she has not thought about Jimmy or that man once. This makes her smile, she has found a place she can retreat to when she needs to escape from her husbands sin. Father Mac wishes everyone well as they leave but Eileen stays sat down, Mary and Jason sat each side of her watching as people leave. "Eileen Bruno, what can I do for you?" Father Mac says, suddenly next to them stood in the aisle. She smiles and her hand goes to her belly, Father Mac notices. "You are still getting that little one baptised in my church I hope?" knowing full well that she is. Laughing she stands up and hugs him. He touches the top of Jason and Mary's heads with almost visible reverence. Father Mac loves children, to him they are Gods creation in its purest form especially the Bruno children. Eileen knows this. When he asks her where Jimmy is she notices that neither Jason nor Mary have asked about there father since they stepped over the churches threshold.
Children are perceptive, she makes a note to remember that. Father Mac tuts when she tells him Jimmy is at work saying "He used to be such a good Catholic boy." A dark thought flits across her mind saying "You have no idea." before she can reel it in and she's scared it might have shown on her face. If Father Mac sees he doesn't mention it. Eileen leaves the church with renewed rigour. She will not let this threat on her family stand. If Jimmy has chosen his side then so be it. This is a battle she fully intends on winning.
When Jimmy gets home she is in the kitchen making a casserole. He calls for her but walks into the kitchen before she can answer. Coop has dropped him off again, she need not look. She can feel that Coop has touched Jimmy, almost smell it. When Jimmy touches Coop the smell is different. That day the smell radiating off of Jimmy was a mixture of both. Turning away from him she went back to stirring the meat for the casserole trying to get the smell of it cooking in her nostrils instead. He kissed her cheek and asked when dinner would be ready. Deja vu washed over her, had she not had a conversation with Jimmy that started like that so many times before. It seemed to Eileen that everything had changed but still stayed the same. Nothing ever changes, not even when it does. Jimmy was smiling and although she knew the reason was Coop, Eileen had a smile of her own. It still infuriates her there is no avoiding that but she had found a way to channel her anger into energy to win this war with Coop.
Then as Jimmy was walking back into the dinning room, Eileen’s water breaks. Calmly she took the beef off the heat and turned the cooker off, then waddling more awkwardly than usual she went and sat at the kitchen table. Drawing a deep breath she shouted for Jimmy. When Jimmy came running back into the kitchen a second later his eyes were wide. She giggled inside at the look of panic on his face, unlike her Jimmy had not got used to the pandemonium that was giving birth. Eileen had got over that after Jason was born. Noticing the water on the lino Jimmy didn't ask her what was wrong he just went about setting the plan that had been in place since the first month of Eileen's pregnancy into motion. At least she could rely on him for some things. Jimmy left the room and Eileen sat there mentally going through the list of things he'd need to do. First he'd have to go to their room and get her overnight bag that was already packed, then ring the hospital to warn them of her arrival, go across to the Liddell’s across the road and borrow their car as already agreed, then take Jason and Mary over to Mrs Wroe's next door and last but not least get her into the car. Jimmy came back into the kitchen before he should have, the panic from earlier turned into terror. "The Liddell's are out." he said, the sound coming out in one breath. Now Eileen herself started to slip into panic mode but not for the same reason as her husband. She knows perfectly well what has to be done but she really doesn't want to have to do it. Jimmy will have to call Coop, get him to take them to the hospital.
It feels like defeat as she says "Call Coop ask him if he'll take us to the hospital." Jimmy's face almost lights up as he goes into the hall to use the phone. She can hear Jimmy talking but she tunes him out. He comes back into the kitchen all smiles and says "Coop will get here as fast as he can." Once he's taken the kids to Mrs Wroe's, Jimmy spends the time it takes Coop to get there fussing over her. It was all too soon before Coop was sounding the horn of his Impala and Jimmy was rushing out with her overnight bag. The silence of the kitchen weighed down on her and she struggled to get up gasping, feeling like she was drowning. Waddling out into hall she ran into Jimmy coming back to get her. The smell was even stronger now. Swallowing the bile that was rising in her throat she took his offered arm and walked towards the car. The drive to the hospital didn't take as long as she thought, her contractions growing steadily closer together sullied it however. At the hospital a nurse brought her a wheelchair, alleviating the pressure on her ankles. Smiling at the nurse she allowed her body to sag and let the porter wheel her to the delivery ward. Jimmy was following dutifully at her side with her overnight bag clutched in his hands. She couldn't see Coop but through the noise of her own thoughts on the subject of that man she vaguely heard Jimmy say "Coop is parking the Impala." It seemed Coop was going to be there when she gave birth. Having no strength or the desire to argue with Jimmy she resigned herself to the fact that he would be there.
When she was in a room on the delivery ward the air settled and she fell into a doze in which she dreamt that she were on a chessboard watching as the White King and Queen gravitated away from each other. The other pieces choosing sides, effectively dividing the White camp. Separated they easily fell to the Black King. Her contractions woke her up, slowly her eyes fluttered open and she saw Jimmy sat in the chair placed against the wall. A smile flit over her face as she saw how anxious he looked then she saw Coop sat next to him. His hand was on Jimmy’s knee and she had to fight to keep her eyes closed, to appear as if she was still asleep. That man was so audacious, she was led in the same room as them and he has his hands all over her husband. Ok maybe she's exaggerating but still. She had to stifle a gasp when Jimmy grasped the hand that was on his knee and brought it to his lips, dropping a gentle kiss on its palm. He was definitely no longer her Jimmy. She could feel her hope seeping away and just as she thought she'd loose it forever the baby inside her kicked. As if it was trying to comfort her, even inside the womb her child knew something was wrong. It was a few hours until her contractions began growing closer together in earnest causing the nurses to gather round her asking questions like "Would you like to go into Twilight Sleep during the birth?" and "Will you be breastfeeding the child?" Her mind addled by pain she tried to think. She had gone into Twilight Sleep when she gave birth to Jason and Mary so she saw no reason to change it. But Jimmy was with her then, she wanted to remember it this time No, she wasn't going to breastfeed, there was formula in her overnight bag. Answering the questions accordingly she smiled at Jimmy, squeezing his hand through the pain.
A doctor came in and began telling the nurses what to do whilst sitting on a stool, she thought they were doing ok as they were. Then a contraction ripped through her and she screamed almost crushing Jimmy's hand. The doctor told her to push, so she did. Her child has a large head as it was taking too long to get it out. It had crowned but now she was pushing to get it all the way out. She pushed and she pushed and delirious her eyes fell on the doctors face when it came into view. He was handsome, blond with a strong jaw. Coop was still in the room and her rage overtook her, she screamed "Get out!" and the nurses told both Jimmy and Coop that they had to leave. She had meant for Coop to get out, she needed Jimmy. But she couldn't use her throat for anything other than screaming so she let her head fall back onto the pillow. She put her hands on the bed and clenched the bedsheet tightly in her fist. After pushing for what felt like hours she finally heard a baby cry and she sighed with relief. She heard the doctor announce that it was a boy and she tried to tell them she wanted Jimmy. One of the nurses, a young woman with red hair seemed to understand her and went out of the room only to come back in with Jimmy following. Watching as Jimmy's face lit up with joy she saw him go over to the nurse who was holding there son and take him from her arms. As soon as he was in his fathers arms he seemed to glow. Jimmy walked over to her and gave him to her. Sitting on the bed next to her and with his arm around her shoulders he said "Charlie Bruno meet your Mummy." As she held him she felt her hope rising, she'd win this war if it tore her to pieces just so the beautiful little boy in her arms could have a family. She and Charlie stayed in hospital for three days before they were allowed to go home, he is a healthy baby but they still need to observe him.
When they arrive home, again driven by Coop, Mary stares at Charlie in awe her mouth a round "o". Jason remembers when Mary was little so he isn't as awed but he is practically ecstatic to have a brother. The week following Charlie's birth Eileen found herself metaphorically static, watching her household move around her. She looked after Charlie, fed him, burped him did the things a mother should all the while seeing that even the birth of a new son couldn't break whatever hold Coop had on Jimmy. Her early anger had faded and now she wore her sadness like a cloak only managing to throw it off when in the presence of her children. Jimmy was all the father and husband he had always been that too hadn't changed. It scared her but she felt herself growing to hate him, sin begets sin after all, but even that was tinged with the sadness of losing the man she married and loved in ways she never dreamed she would.
It is the day of Charlie's baptism and the Bruno family are in varying stages of undress. Eileen is stood in the bathroom naked, water beading on her skin from the shower she just had. The door is locked and the air is heavy with moisture. Looking at herself in the mirror over the sink she draws a smile in the condensation over the reflection of her mouth. Watching as droplets of water slowly travel down its surface from where she disturbed them she begins to cry. One after another her tears fall each one taking with it a tiny piece of her sadness. She is glad it has happened in the bathroom, when she is alone. She feels as if she is a glass sat upon a tabletop and that somebody is pouring her up to the brim with water. They haven't ceased and know it is overflowing, risen up and spilled over. Once the tears stop she wipes her cheeks with the backs of her hands and wraps herself in a bath towel. Checking that her eyes aren't too puffy she gives one last look at her reflection then leaves. Out in the corridor she hears Mary talking to Jimmy as he helps her put on her Sunday Best and Charlie cooing from the master bedroom. She closes her eyes as she goes to him, letting the small light noises he makes guide her. He starts giggling as she steps into the room and she opens her eyes. He is a beautiful child. The herald of the end of his parents relationship. He doesn't know it and neither do his siblings or father. When she looks at him she sees Jimmy, the Jimmy she married. As if somehow her Jimmy died and was reincarnated into her son and the man inhabiting Jimmy is a demon sent to test her.
Sighing she picks him up out of his cot and walks over to the bed placing him gently on the duvet, so she can see him and he can watch her. She closes the door. No matter how many theories she comes up with she cannot find a way to fix it or reverse it. Going to her dresser she pulls out a bra and a pair of knickers. She pulls the knickers on underneath the towel then turns away from Charlie as she lets the towel drop and puts the bra on. At the wardrobe she gets out her own Sunday Best, a off white dress with a broad collar. With one arm balancing herself she shimmies into the bottom half then straightening up pulls her arms into the the short sleeves. Turning to the mirrors set into the doors of the wardrobe she zips up the top half. She looks at the clock on Jimmy’s side table and turns to put Charlie in the white gown Jimmy wore when he was baptised and his father before him. She has approximately half and hour before Giselle arrives to do her hair. She puts on a pair of white gloves that were placed on top of the dresser. When Jimmy said to her that he wanted Coop to be Charlie's Godfather during the second week after his birth she couldn't say no or arise suspicion, so she had agreed. Then she had said she wanted Giselle to be his Godmother knowing full well that Jimmy dislikes her. It was a new low but it got the desired effect.
Giselle is a hairdresser and has a salon in the city, she lives down the street from them with her husband Karl and teenage son Pete. Karl is a Advertising Executive and is always on business trips. Giselle has a wandering eye usually only partial to men half her age, but she has taken a liking to Coop. Giselle enters the room with a knock on the door, her auburn hair is held up by a white faux ivory hair slide. She is wearing a black dress and carrying two bags no doubt filled to the brim with hairdressing supplies. Giselle stands in the doorway just looking at her a smile gracing her features and Eileen can only smile back. With a small laugh she puts her bags on the bed and says "Well then Eileen what do we want today?" as she produces various combs and cans of hairspray from her bags. Eileen replies that she'd like a beehive today Giselle. A wide grin forms on Giselle's face in the mirror. She'd expected that style to be asked for. Taking the chair from Jimmy’s desk she sits herself behind Eileen, armed with a metal toothed comb and 'long lasting' hairspray. As she sits there with Giselle teasing her hair into what will become a beehive Eileen knows, can smell it. Coop is in the house. As much as she cant do anything bout that she hopes that he and Jimmy aren't eating the food for the get together after the baptism. She spent ages making little sandwiches and mini sausage rolls so there'd be hell to pay if they did. Secretly she wanted Coop to dare eat something so she'd have an excuse to let loose at him.
Her mother is downstairs also along with her sister and her husband. They came down from Canada three days ago. Lily, her sister, is a nurse and her husband is a Mountie. Her chest clenches and she wishes not for the first time nor the last that her father was there to see Charlie and his baptism. All too soon Giselle has created a modern hair masterpiece and it is time to go to the church. Picking up Charlie in sure arms she follows Giselle out of the room. Once downstairs her mother tells her that Coop and Jimmy popped out soon after Coop arrived, to get something, they didn't specify what. Not today she thinks, not on the day of his sons baptism. Her children are wearing there Sunday Best Jason is in a suit and tie, Mary wearing a little white dress her hair in a matching ribbon. Picking up her handbag she leads her children out the door after her mother and sister. They run into Jimmy on the driveway and he looks like he did 'that' night stumbling into there room after kissing Coop. Only this time his shirt has been clearly re-tucked and his tie is skew whiff. His lips are again kiss swollen and she cant help but hate them as he says to Jason and Mary "Right you couple of Munchkins lets go." and they pile into the Liddell's car. Jimmy went out the night before and barely made it back before the sun came up. She didn't think about where he'd been nor did she ask. Today she thought, the man who was breaking her family would invade her safe place and she had has to look at Charlie in her arms to stop herself from crying.
Jimmy's assorted family made there own way to the church and where already outside the church when they get there. His mother is stood with his father at the doors of the church looking regal and positively beaming, she has a new grandson why shouldn't she be happy. Father Mac came out of the church and ushered them all in with the wide sweep of the doors. She hands her handbag to her mother, who has been instructed to take pictures using the camera inside. The families took seats on there respective sides and Eileen walks up to the font holding Charlie close to her chest with Jimmy at her side and Jason and Mary tagging along behind. Charlie is too have two Godfather's and one Godmother, the other Godfather is Coop's father. He is there stood next to Jimmy dressed in his Sergeants uniform, Giselle next to him. Coop is nowhere to be seen. All they could do is wait, Father Mac started lighting the candles and they waited.
Cradling Charlie's head in a gloved hand she says to Jimmy "Maybe we should start without him." and was met by a response of "Five more minutes."
Coops father looked agitated and started looking at the doors every few minutes. Eileen said "Does Coop even remember what a church looks like." and hoped it only sounded as if she was playfully disapproving and not slow burning hate.
Jimmy doesn't bat an eyelid so she assume it sounded as was intended but then he says "He'll be here, relax."
Mary is annoying Jason by playing with the collar of his suit jacket and Jimmy looks past her and says "Hey you two, knock it off." and Jason looks at his father and Mary smoothes down her dress.
They stand still. Turning to Coops father Jimmy says "You talked to your son today Serge?" and he replies "I called him an hour ago. No answer."
She says "Perfect." and then the church is filled with the sound of doors opening echoing off the stone and everybody turns to look at Coop. There he is she thinks, just walking in. He may as well as be brandishing a sword or a gun, like the malevolent oppressor that he is. He is tucking his shirt in as he walks up the aisle and she dreads to think how he got that way. Turning to look at Jimmy she sees his eyes shining the way they do whenever they're pointed at that man. Both Jimmy and Serge are smiling broadly.
Serge says "So what do you think Jimmy, a brawl or a babe?" and Eileen contains the 'ha' she feels rising in her throat.
Jimmy responds with "Nah, a brawl then a babe." Charlie chews his thumb as Eileen rocks him more to soothe herself than him.
Serge says "Isn't it time he got married." and Jimmy replies "You gotta go out on a second date for that Serge." How easily Jimmy lies now, Eileen thinks he must have always been a natural liar.
By this point Coop is nearing the font and he puts his arms out saying "So what are you gonna believe, my alarm broke or I got lost?" bringing his hands down onto his father and Jimmy’s shoulder as he steps up to the font area.
Gesturing with his glasses Father Mac says "Since you were a alter boy here Sean I'd go with the former."
Coop nods his head and says "There it is as Father Mac says."
He moves past Jimmy looking at her and says "Looking beautiful Eileen." and kisses her cheek.
She feels as if he has branded her as he says "Sorry, really."
Doubting he meant he was sorry for kissing her husband she tells him "Forget it, Coop." She doesn't see it but the inflection she put on Coop's name puzzles Jimmy.
Coop ruffles Jason’s hair saying "I've been wondering where my deputies been hiding." and put his hand on Mary's head saying "Sweetheart."
Taking his position between Jimmy and his father he said "So what are we waiting for?" Father Mac smiles at her and gestures for her to step up to the font. Smiling back she does Charlie gurgling in her arms.
Father Mac starts "You have asked to have your child baptised, in doing so you are accepting the responsibility of training him in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring him...." Eileen stopped listening because she was listening to Jimmy and Coop. Her mother has started taking photos.
Jimmy asks Coop if he thinks Charlie will be a cop and Coop replies "No choice its in his genes, forever blue."
Her husband sounds sad when he responds "Someone’s gotta break out, live a better kind of life."
Coop doesn't sound convinced when he says "Yeah, what else can guys like us do for a living huh?"
Jimmy looks at him and says "Sales."
"Sales, yeah right." Coop replies and they both laugh. Eileen has had enough, she tells them to shush. They have the good grace to look like chastised little boys. They all start listening again when Father Mac says "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." crossing Charlie with his hands as Jimmy, Coop, Serge and Giselle cross themselves with there own. Eileen says amen, Jimmy saying it too. Coop doesn't say it. She looks at Coop not trying to conceal her feelings from him. His isn't phased. As the baptism goes on and the Godparents have to renounce the Devil Eileen remembers how she thought Coop was the Devil that first morning after. All three Godparents denounce the Devil without hesitation and it makes Eileen seethe. Father Mac takes Charlie from her and takes him to the font. As soon as the water touches his head Charlie starts crying and Eileen feels a tugging in her chest, the instinct to comfort her child. She is glad when it is over and she can hold Charlie again, rock his tears away. Giselle has been looking at Coop whenever she didn't need to look at Father Mac. They are given Charlie's candle then it is over. They all go outside and get in there respective cars to head back to the house for the get together.
Eileen had given June Liddell the key to the house so that she could put the food out and sure as eggs are eggs the food was out when they let everyone in. People started to mingle and Jimmy's mother comes over and kisses her cheek and pinches Charlie's. He doesn't appreciate it. She smiles at her sons son and says "Another handsome little boy Eileen, you're getting good at this." and she can't help but join in laughing at the old joke. When Eileen had married Jimmy his mother had took her aside and told her she expected lots of grandbabies. After Jason was born she had told her to keep up the good standards, she had replied with "I do my best Sarah." and a private joke was born. His father, Frank comes up next to her and he said "Congratulations Eileen, again" kissing her cheek. He stepped back to stand next to his wife, his arm automatically going around her waist to draw her near. Charlie starts to make little whining noises and Eileen uses it to get away. She likes Jimmy's parents.
Finding her mother she hands her Charlie. Seeing Coop and Jimmy hanging around the drinks table she takes off her gloves, puts them in her handbag and places it on the kitchen table. She walks over to her husband and his partner with the intention of stopping Coop from corrupting him any further. They stop talking as she draws closer and she almost rolls her eyes at how obvious they are being. "Coop, can I talk to you?" she asks and it almost looks like he is going to ask why but then he looks at her and he says "Sure.". She sees Jimmy's puzzlement written all over his face. Coop walks into the kitchen and she follows. She finds it fitting that they are going to have this conversation in the room that overlooks where the sin was committed, where she heard her heart break.
Coop walks to the sink and says "What is it Eileen." with his back to her. His shoulders are not slumped nor is he turned away to hide from her. He is not ashamed and God if that doesn't infuriate her. He's even got her using the Lords name in vain.
"You know very well what." she hisses.
He whispers "Yeah" but still doesn't turn. They stand in silence, the weight of what she needs to say hangs in the air like storm clouds. She knows it will not be easy, Coop can be stubborn.
"Why Coop?" but as soon as she asks she realises that she really doesn't want to know. Now he turns and looks at her, his eyes steely, defiant.
"Because I love him Eileen, I was drunk and I took a chance." Her eyes go wide, he is telling the truth. What a snake in the grass he is, must have always been.
Wanting to look away from his piercing gaze but finding herself unable she sighs "How long?"
Understanding her he says "Since we met." It is then that tears start to stream down her face and her fist clench at her sides. Coop grabs her right fist and his touch feels like a burn but she has no energy to pull away.
"I know it's wrong." Coop says but she knows he doesn't believe it.
"How could you do this to me Coop, to us?" she asks and he stares at her incredulously then says "What do you want from me." She wants him to stop kissing her husband and doing God knows what else. She wants him to tell Jimmy that it's over. Just as she is about to say as such she sees somebody out of the corner of her eye. Turning her head she sees Tom McCree standing a few feet from them. Wrenching her hand out of Coops grasp she edges her way past Tom a hand going up to cover her mouth, attempting to stifle the sobs that threaten to manifest. As she leaves she catches the tail end what Tom says to Coop. Making her way through the crowd of well wishers she tries to hide her tear stained cheeks. She walks past her mother holding a giggling Charlie and straight up the stairs without looking back. Making it to her room she closes and locks the door before the sobs caught in her chest erupt. She slides to the floor her back against the door. Coop will never willingly let go of Jimmy, neither will she. It seems that this is to be a battle of wills. When she thinks of her children her heart shatters anew, poor infant Charlie. She will fight knowing that they will be dragged through it with her. She vows through a tearful haze to keep this war quite. A secret war of sorts. She is still crying, for the man she lost, her children, the retirement she wanted when someone knocks at the door and she holds her breath effectively halting her sobbing. "Eileen what's wrong" comes Jimmy’s voice through the wood of the door. She doesn't answer, doesn't want him to see her nor does she want to see him. So she ignores him and eventually he walks away and she can breathe again.
Her tears have dried and she sits there staring blindly at the dresser on the other side of the room when there is another knock at the door and she hears her mothers voice say "Honey, are you ok." She needs her mother feels it so keenly so she gets up and unlocks the door and opens it. Facing her she says "Moma." and a new wave of tears breaks forth. Her mother strides forward and engulfs Eileen in her arms closing the door with her foot. Sobbing into her mothers shoulder she feels herself being led to the bed. Once sat down her mother pulls away and wipes at her tears with a handkerchief. "Now tell your Moma what's wrong." and Eileen grabs her hands, knuckles going white. The desire to tell her everything is so strange she has to actually club it down. Telling her would only lead to pain, she would no doubt storm down the stairs and have it out with Jimmy. Charlie would cry due to the noise. Then her Daddy would punch Jimmy and Mary would cry, Jason would try to defend his father and get held back by Elijah, Lily’s husband. No she couldn't breathe a word of what she knew. Doing the only thing left to her Eileen sobbed yet again into her mothers shoulder. Tomorrow she will tell her mother it had been hormones that made her cry and be rewarded with a affectionate knowing smile. She will fall back into the routine of cooking and being a mother to her children, she will entrench herself in it. A thing to help her weather the secret war that was soon to be declared. Her children are her reason and morale so therefore she cannot loose even if she is fighting an enemy that has love for a cause. Her courage will never falter.